Hello, all.
Fresh off my first fantasy football draft of the season and a weekend full of movies, movies and more movies, I'm sitting here on a Sunday night listening to Tony Bruno and Gary Radnich episodes over the last week or two and enjoying a full stomach thanks to Ben & Jerry's "Everything but the...", which is my second favorite ice cream from them (Chubby Hubby is #1, and I couldn't find it at all tonight...grrrr). The last week or so has been a whirlwind, but with that whirlwind subsiding, it was led to, well, the title of this e-mail, coincidentally.
Yes, I will be returning to Sonoma some time near the end of September. I talked to my GM on Friday about my future in Dunedin, and he painted me a great picture of things to come. Even though my term ends next month, he told me that there is a job waiting for me starting in January, where I would basically do what I did this season, but with a better title (Communications Coordinator, no intern for me) and a pay raise, which is always nice. He told me that he knew my aspirations to broadcast were #1 for me, and he'd love to accommodate my dream to be a full-time broadcaster, but it's just not in the cards with the Blue Jays because of where we are. Tampa Bay is the Rays market, without a doubt, and while broadcasting is always nice, it's not a money generator right now. But, he told me that since he knows I want to follow my dreams, he and the Blue Jays are going to help me out. So while I'm here, I'm going to talk to some people with the TORONTO Blue Jays about what my next step could be and see what to do from there. There's even talk about me doing an inning with Toronto when they come down to play the Rays in a couple of weeks, which would be incredible.
So the next few months is pretty simple: To get my resume and a tape together so that I can attack the job market that will open up at the end of the baseball season. I'm going to go after every broadcasting job I can find with the guidance of the people in Toronto. When I get out to California after my latest cross-country trip, I'll be looking to see what is out on the West Coast for me, and go from there. If nothing comes up before the Winter Meetings in December, I'll head there and try my luck. If nothing comes out of those, I'll head back to Dunedin for another season. To have my "worst case scenario" being coming back to a place I'm familiar with and a place that is close to my family down in Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, that's pretty good, right there.
But now, to reflect on the season I've had...wow, what an experience. I was homeless for nine weeks. I stayed in almost a dozen places in the eight months I've been out here. I've laughed, I've cried. I've seen almost every part of Florida. I've broadcasted. I've met professional players. I've seen Alex Rodriguez hit a home run. I saw Roy Halladay shut down teams like it was the middle of the season and not Spring Training. I've seen players rise and fall. I've done All-Star games. I've done TV spots! I've done statistical analysis and research for our coaches. I've been on boats, been to concerts, seen tons of movies...and I've realized a lot of things about myself that a move like this wouldn't have allowed me to realize. For that alone, I am more than grateful for the experience, and to come home a better man than when I left is the best gift I could have given myself.
So now, I take these last few weeks here in Dunedin, make the best of them, and then take my time coming home. I hope to be making a couple of stops along the way to see some people I might not be able to see otherwise, and then stay with my brother in LA before heading on home. When I get back, I'll still be on the job hunt, and I'll be looking for a little something in the Sonoma area to hold me over in the mean time, so if any of you have a lead for me to get a job over Oct-Dec, let me know! I'm open to anything at this point. I'll be happy to come home for a little bit before I head back to wherever my next job is, and for me, just to know I'll be doing something in baseball next year is a fantastic blessing.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Mother Nature does not like me broadcasting
(Written at 11:30 p.m. on Friday, 8/14)
I love to broadcast. It's my lifeblood, my energy. Outside of my family and friends, my time behind a microphone is the best time I have in my life. (Insert “If only I had a girlfriend”-type reference here.) It's just...it makes me feel good. It's not even an ego pumper. It's like it's a validation of time and effort; that for me to be able to say anything behind a mike makes me realize that all the hard work I've put in to making this happen was worthwhile.
Many times this year, Mother Nature has been a bitch to my broadcasting aspirations. I say that with love and kindness, for Mother Nature has also given me plenty a sunny day so that I may enjoy my normal day-to-day job that I do with the Blue Jays. But, on the days where I've been allowed to broadcast, it has decided to rain on my parade more often than not. Now...I'm one for the realization that Florida is in a drought and the rain is necessary, but good lord, for three hours, could you turn off the waterworks just ONCE?
Well, apparently, Mother Nature decided that it didn't just want to destroy my thoughts of broadcasting a Friday night game. Oh, no. It decided to try and make a run at my TV spot, as well.
It's funny to think that on Thursday afternoon, life decided to throw me a curveball or two. C'mon. I write about baseball for a living. As if that cliché wasn't going to come up during any of my writings. No, I'm talking about how a drive across the state of Florida almost made me turn around and head back to Clearwater.
Am I a pansy? Eh, at this point, for me to complain about something as mundane as the weather in Florida in August seems pedantic (Thank you, Peter Griffin) at best, but good lord...I had never experienced anything like that in my life.
Around 1 p.m. or so that day, a good storm came through the Tampa Bay area and hit Dunedin pretty hard. Hagler/Hearns hard, so to speak. It was one of those that was quick, but you felt its power. So, around 2 p.m., after the Blue Jays staff enjoyed birthday sundaes for Kathi, who turned 25 (Welcome to the club. Enjoy feeling old for a while before realizing you're not even 30 yet.) I ventured east to Viera, which is just north of Melbourne on the east coast of Florida. I had been asked by Bright House Sports Network to come on for an inning during their Game of the Week for the FSL that involved Dunedin and Brevard County.
Now...weather patterns as they are, with me being inside, I really didn't get to feel how strong the storm was. Usually, the cells that are strongest are heard on the aluminum roofs of our office buildings. So, after going through a shower as I headed for I-4, I thought I had seen the worst of it and it would be clear skies to Viera.
Yeah, about that...for those of you who have not experienced weather in Florida during the month of August, this is the time of year when hurricanes begin to occur. Now, I'm not saying I went through a hurricane, but the weather is such that cells are usually strong around this time due to increased amounts of humidity, causing more clouds to take in water, and, because of the hot temperatures (Haven't seen the heat index under 100 in about four weeks) it makes the hot air able to mix with the cool air of the clouds to not only create the hard rain, but allows for electric currents to roam freely, causing the variety of thunderstorms that are seen in the Tampa Bay area every summer. Now, most of it is the heat lightning generated by the clouds, but every now and then, a cloud gets rid of a bolt via a lightning strike. No big deal, right? Unless you're afraid of lightning, which I'm not.
So as I exited the Tampa area heading east on I-4, I looked ahead to see nothing but dark skies and thunderbolts crashing down upon central Florida. It wasn't exactly doomsday, but for me, it wasn't something I looked to enjoy in the least. In fact, I got my first true taste of tropic thunder when I saw a lightning bolt crash on the shoulder of the west side of the freeway. About 50 feet away from me. And I saw it crash.
Gulp.Did I say I wasn't afraid of lightning?
So imagine my unsurprise at what followed: copious amounts of rainfall that pounded the freeway and would not stop as I got to Plant City, 20 miles east of Conjunction Junction. It started out like a hard storm would normally start, but then it got stronger. The rain fell at a faster rate. The highest possible setting on my windshield wipers wouldn't go fast enough. I was clinched at 10 and 2 on the wheel, peering out over it to look as closely and as attentively as I could to the traffic ahead of me, slowing down due to the cars that had been stymied by Mother Nature's best rendition of the last time she saw the end of “Terms of Endearment.” We all cried. C'mon, now.
And Mother Nature was bawling. I mean the type of bawling that only happens to 13 year old girls that find out that the Jonas Brothers broke up and that the new “Twilight” movie was never to be released. Like the type of crying Rams fans did when Adam Vinatieri made the Field Goald Heard 'Round the World in Super Bowl XXXVI.
It rained hard, I guess, is what I am trying to say.
I looked down to my speedometer to see that it was only at 35 MPH, half the speed limit for the freeway at that time. My HAZARD lights were on. Not brights, not high beams...HAZARD lights. It was about five minutes in that I seriously considered turning around and heading back to Tampa to hang out with the guys at work for Kathi's birthday. But then I realized that since I was moving faster than the storm that I should just suck it up and it will all be over soon.
So for 15 miles this kept going. All through Lakeland, I didn't see anything. Not even the Hooters that's right there on the freeway. I saw none of it. I instead saw barely 25 feet in front of me, with only flashing lights and my own damn instincts to guide me through this test of nature's strength. I remember texting with a couple of people when things were fine on the drive, but this was not that time. This was me thinking about how the hell people in Florida drive through this every August. I sure as hell wouldn't. This wasn't even a hurricane! I had driven through some strong storms down here, but this was something else. Clouds about 50 feet off the freeway pouring down endless streams of precipitation and throwing in lightning for good measure because they figure the tall aluminum structures in the Lakeland area didn't get enough juice for a Thursday night.
When I finally came out of the damn thing after about 20 minutes of me wondering if me traveling 155 miles to do one inning of TV was truly worth it if I had to go through this to get there, I breathed a sigh of relief...and then immediately called Garrett back at the stadium to see if this cell was going to head for Viera (A storm that would have ended the thoughts of the game being played that night. No questions asked.) and he informed me that it was instead heading northeast towards Orlando and then Daytona. Thank you, Mother Nature.
Oh, but then Mother Nature got crafty. Once I arrived at the park at 6 p.m., I was greeted at Space Coast Stadium (I originally typed Space Ghost, which is hilarious) by the Manatees staff and the Bright House Sports people, including former AL Cy Young Winner Frank Viola, who's as nice as they come and truly enjoys what he's doing. I caught the crew up on the team and then took in the view from the press box...where we could all see a storm pouring rain out in the distance.
Mother Nature, you're a cruel bitch.
We were hoping it was just crossing to the west, heading across Melbourne and over towards St. Cloud/Kissimmee, but it wasn't. It was heading for the stadium. The tarp was on the field. The TV time was in jeopardy once more.
The storm hit the field and it hit it pretty hard, but two things saved me: First was that it was a short storm, but wasn't nearly as strong as the one I went through to get here. Second, the tarp was on the field in plenty of time and the field had not taken water in a few days, meaning that it was ready to soak some stuff up. The drains in left field were ready for the water and the field took it well. When the tarp was taken off the field and the excess water was squeegeed off, I waited for Manatees GM Kyle Smith's announcement on the game. Thankfully, it was still on. It was to start at 8:15. My TV time was intact and I was happy.
I thanked whoever has power over Mother Nature for allowing me the chance to do the game and I pressed on for my inning, a phenomenal piece of sports talk in the middle of two quick half innings. Much too quick for me, of course, where I wish I could have stayed the rest of the game.
The game itself was something else. 1-1 until the Jays got two home runs, one from Kevin Ahrens and another from Jesus Gonzalez. We had a 4-1 lead in the 9th with Tim Collins, the best reliever on the team, on to close the game out, but a bleeder fell, a line drive wasn't caught, and the Manatees took advantage of a bases-loaded walk and a couple other hits fell, tying the game at 4-4. When Trystan Magnuson somehow got a line drive double play out of the situation and then got a fly out to end the inning, we were looking at extras. It was 11:30. The day wasn't over yet.
But, the Manatees won on a walk-off sacrifice fly in the bottom of the 10th to win the game and the series, sending Dunedin to Daytona with a gut-punch of a loss. As bad as I felt, for me to go through so much rain for one inning of TV time was worth it. Made me feel good to be behind a microphone and tell a story for a while. I guess what you realize is that if you feel like it's something that's worthwhile in your life, you gotta go after it, regardless of who it is, what it is, where it is...or why it's even there in the first place.
And now, here I lay in Delray Beach, 24 hours later, and looking back on a Thursday that was much more than I expected. Couldn't have asked for anything else out of a day like that. I'm now in Delray Beach, fresh off muchos fried potatoes, talks of desperate women in need of loving (Thanks to my uncle and aunt, no less) and a viewing of “500 Days of Summer”, which was a good romantic comedy that will hit close to home for those looking to figure out their views on love. (Ahem...) In eight hours, I will surf Deerfield Beach and continue my march towards my uncertain future, wondering what will happen next and being ready to handle it when it happens.
(Editor's Note: Bad weather forced the free surf lesson to be canceled. Sad face.)
I love to broadcast. It's my lifeblood, my energy. Outside of my family and friends, my time behind a microphone is the best time I have in my life. (Insert “If only I had a girlfriend”-type reference here.) It's just...it makes me feel good. It's not even an ego pumper. It's like it's a validation of time and effort; that for me to be able to say anything behind a mike makes me realize that all the hard work I've put in to making this happen was worthwhile.
Many times this year, Mother Nature has been a bitch to my broadcasting aspirations. I say that with love and kindness, for Mother Nature has also given me plenty a sunny day so that I may enjoy my normal day-to-day job that I do with the Blue Jays. But, on the days where I've been allowed to broadcast, it has decided to rain on my parade more often than not. Now...I'm one for the realization that Florida is in a drought and the rain is necessary, but good lord, for three hours, could you turn off the waterworks just ONCE?
Well, apparently, Mother Nature decided that it didn't just want to destroy my thoughts of broadcasting a Friday night game. Oh, no. It decided to try and make a run at my TV spot, as well.
It's funny to think that on Thursday afternoon, life decided to throw me a curveball or two. C'mon. I write about baseball for a living. As if that cliché wasn't going to come up during any of my writings. No, I'm talking about how a drive across the state of Florida almost made me turn around and head back to Clearwater.
Am I a pansy? Eh, at this point, for me to complain about something as mundane as the weather in Florida in August seems pedantic (Thank you, Peter Griffin) at best, but good lord...I had never experienced anything like that in my life.
Around 1 p.m. or so that day, a good storm came through the Tampa Bay area and hit Dunedin pretty hard. Hagler/Hearns hard, so to speak. It was one of those that was quick, but you felt its power. So, around 2 p.m., after the Blue Jays staff enjoyed birthday sundaes for Kathi, who turned 25 (Welcome to the club. Enjoy feeling old for a while before realizing you're not even 30 yet.) I ventured east to Viera, which is just north of Melbourne on the east coast of Florida. I had been asked by Bright House Sports Network to come on for an inning during their Game of the Week for the FSL that involved Dunedin and Brevard County.
Now...weather patterns as they are, with me being inside, I really didn't get to feel how strong the storm was. Usually, the cells that are strongest are heard on the aluminum roofs of our office buildings. So, after going through a shower as I headed for I-4, I thought I had seen the worst of it and it would be clear skies to Viera.
Yeah, about that...for those of you who have not experienced weather in Florida during the month of August, this is the time of year when hurricanes begin to occur. Now, I'm not saying I went through a hurricane, but the weather is such that cells are usually strong around this time due to increased amounts of humidity, causing more clouds to take in water, and, because of the hot temperatures (Haven't seen the heat index under 100 in about four weeks) it makes the hot air able to mix with the cool air of the clouds to not only create the hard rain, but allows for electric currents to roam freely, causing the variety of thunderstorms that are seen in the Tampa Bay area every summer. Now, most of it is the heat lightning generated by the clouds, but every now and then, a cloud gets rid of a bolt via a lightning strike. No big deal, right? Unless you're afraid of lightning, which I'm not.
So as I exited the Tampa area heading east on I-4, I looked ahead to see nothing but dark skies and thunderbolts crashing down upon central Florida. It wasn't exactly doomsday, but for me, it wasn't something I looked to enjoy in the least. In fact, I got my first true taste of tropic thunder when I saw a lightning bolt crash on the shoulder of the west side of the freeway. About 50 feet away from me. And I saw it crash.
Gulp.Did I say I wasn't afraid of lightning?
So imagine my unsurprise at what followed: copious amounts of rainfall that pounded the freeway and would not stop as I got to Plant City, 20 miles east of Conjunction Junction. It started out like a hard storm would normally start, but then it got stronger. The rain fell at a faster rate. The highest possible setting on my windshield wipers wouldn't go fast enough. I was clinched at 10 and 2 on the wheel, peering out over it to look as closely and as attentively as I could to the traffic ahead of me, slowing down due to the cars that had been stymied by Mother Nature's best rendition of the last time she saw the end of “Terms of Endearment.” We all cried. C'mon, now.
And Mother Nature was bawling. I mean the type of bawling that only happens to 13 year old girls that find out that the Jonas Brothers broke up and that the new “Twilight” movie was never to be released. Like the type of crying Rams fans did when Adam Vinatieri made the Field Goald Heard 'Round the World in Super Bowl XXXVI.
It rained hard, I guess, is what I am trying to say.
I looked down to my speedometer to see that it was only at 35 MPH, half the speed limit for the freeway at that time. My HAZARD lights were on. Not brights, not high beams...HAZARD lights. It was about five minutes in that I seriously considered turning around and heading back to Tampa to hang out with the guys at work for Kathi's birthday. But then I realized that since I was moving faster than the storm that I should just suck it up and it will all be over soon.
So for 15 miles this kept going. All through Lakeland, I didn't see anything. Not even the Hooters that's right there on the freeway. I saw none of it. I instead saw barely 25 feet in front of me, with only flashing lights and my own damn instincts to guide me through this test of nature's strength. I remember texting with a couple of people when things were fine on the drive, but this was not that time. This was me thinking about how the hell people in Florida drive through this every August. I sure as hell wouldn't. This wasn't even a hurricane! I had driven through some strong storms down here, but this was something else. Clouds about 50 feet off the freeway pouring down endless streams of precipitation and throwing in lightning for good measure because they figure the tall aluminum structures in the Lakeland area didn't get enough juice for a Thursday night.
When I finally came out of the damn thing after about 20 minutes of me wondering if me traveling 155 miles to do one inning of TV was truly worth it if I had to go through this to get there, I breathed a sigh of relief...and then immediately called Garrett back at the stadium to see if this cell was going to head for Viera (A storm that would have ended the thoughts of the game being played that night. No questions asked.) and he informed me that it was instead heading northeast towards Orlando and then Daytona. Thank you, Mother Nature.
Oh, but then Mother Nature got crafty. Once I arrived at the park at 6 p.m., I was greeted at Space Coast Stadium (I originally typed Space Ghost, which is hilarious) by the Manatees staff and the Bright House Sports people, including former AL Cy Young Winner Frank Viola, who's as nice as they come and truly enjoys what he's doing. I caught the crew up on the team and then took in the view from the press box...where we could all see a storm pouring rain out in the distance.
Mother Nature, you're a cruel bitch.
We were hoping it was just crossing to the west, heading across Melbourne and over towards St. Cloud/Kissimmee, but it wasn't. It was heading for the stadium. The tarp was on the field. The TV time was in jeopardy once more.
The storm hit the field and it hit it pretty hard, but two things saved me: First was that it was a short storm, but wasn't nearly as strong as the one I went through to get here. Second, the tarp was on the field in plenty of time and the field had not taken water in a few days, meaning that it was ready to soak some stuff up. The drains in left field were ready for the water and the field took it well. When the tarp was taken off the field and the excess water was squeegeed off, I waited for Manatees GM Kyle Smith's announcement on the game. Thankfully, it was still on. It was to start at 8:15. My TV time was intact and I was happy.
I thanked whoever has power over Mother Nature for allowing me the chance to do the game and I pressed on for my inning, a phenomenal piece of sports talk in the middle of two quick half innings. Much too quick for me, of course, where I wish I could have stayed the rest of the game.
The game itself was something else. 1-1 until the Jays got two home runs, one from Kevin Ahrens and another from Jesus Gonzalez. We had a 4-1 lead in the 9th with Tim Collins, the best reliever on the team, on to close the game out, but a bleeder fell, a line drive wasn't caught, and the Manatees took advantage of a bases-loaded walk and a couple other hits fell, tying the game at 4-4. When Trystan Magnuson somehow got a line drive double play out of the situation and then got a fly out to end the inning, we were looking at extras. It was 11:30. The day wasn't over yet.
But, the Manatees won on a walk-off sacrifice fly in the bottom of the 10th to win the game and the series, sending Dunedin to Daytona with a gut-punch of a loss. As bad as I felt, for me to go through so much rain for one inning of TV time was worth it. Made me feel good to be behind a microphone and tell a story for a while. I guess what you realize is that if you feel like it's something that's worthwhile in your life, you gotta go after it, regardless of who it is, what it is, where it is...or why it's even there in the first place.
And now, here I lay in Delray Beach, 24 hours later, and looking back on a Thursday that was much more than I expected. Couldn't have asked for anything else out of a day like that. I'm now in Delray Beach, fresh off muchos fried potatoes, talks of desperate women in need of loving (Thanks to my uncle and aunt, no less) and a viewing of “500 Days of Summer”, which was a good romantic comedy that will hit close to home for those looking to figure out their views on love. (Ahem...) In eight hours, I will surf Deerfield Beach and continue my march towards my uncertain future, wondering what will happen next and being ready to handle it when it happens.
(Editor's Note: Bad weather forced the free surf lesson to be canceled. Sad face.)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's been a long time/I shouldn't have left you...
Well, it's August. To think I was here seven months ago and was writing about my troubles adjusting to this place seems like it was a long time ago. And honestly, it has been. I know that everybody I was close to has been doing their thing since I left back in California, just like I've been doing here since I arrived, but honestly, it still feels weird; as if I'm about to find out after my senior year of college whether I'm heading home or staying put to follow my dreams.
The last time that happened, I ended up heading home as I tried to break in with KTVU and keep my broadcasting aspirations afloat. I did a good job with that, taking a job at Friedman's for a little while before finding my spot with ThreeHouse when it was at its peak, which in turn, allowed me to get my current spot here with the Blue Jays. I honestly didn't know what to expect when I got here, but my seven months in Dunedin, as far as my career is concerned, have been some of the most fulfilling time of my life because it allowed me to become aware of what I needed to do in order to be successful. Not just in my career, which I always had my nose to the grindstone with, but just with my life in general.
The gym is no longer some place I go when I feel like it: It's another hour and a half added to my work day. It's some place I go because I've realized I don't like being this big dude anymore. I want to be able to slim down and feel good about it. I haven't felt this way about anything in my life since my senior year in high school, really, and I'm about to become as small as I was back then if things keep going well at the gym. I still have a long way to go to get where I want to with my physical self, but it seems as if my emotional side is turning a bit; where confidence and determination has replaced self-loathing and doubt. Although, as the people who I have complained to over the last few months know, it hasn't been an easy process!
To be honest, I don't know what the future holds with me here in Dunedin. I know that the Blue Jays would love to keep me around, but they also know that I want to broadcast, which has been my dream and my passion for five years now, and is something I hope becomes the fixture in my career much sooner than later. For the longest time, broadcasting has been an aside; almost a perk to my full-time employment with whoever I worked for. I've been chasing a dream, and to an extent, that dream has come true: I'm broadcasting professional baseball. Even on a small level, that's something I can be proud of (and something that goes on the resume).
Hell, I even realized a small dream last Thursday when Bright House Sports Network (what would be the equivalent of Comcast Sportsnet back in the Bay Area) had me on for a couple of innings during Dunedin's TV debut for the season when they took on Clearwater. They loved having me be a part of the broadcast and I helped out with them being prepared well for it, and I really came off looking like an asset to the program. That's all I could hope for. Now, the Blue Jays are on again this Thursday and it looks like I might get another shot to help out on the TV side of things. Perhaps this leads to something.
If there's anything anyone ever learns in life, it's that if you get any opportunity that might lead to something that you want to do, seize it. That's what I did when I went to the Baseball Winter Meetings in Vegas last December, and thankfully, it led me to this spot in my life where I am in professional sports: I'm good at what I do, and the sky is the limit. For seven years, I've worked my ass off to get to this point and I'm not about to let something get in my way. Within the next few days, I should find out what my future is with the team, and whatever is presented to me, if it's an opportunity to do something that might lead to the next big step in my life, I'll do what I've tried to do since I was an intern under Steven Serafini in sports at the I-T: I'll seize the opportunity, and I'll do everything I can to not only do the job, but add something to it so that it's my own.
Never before in my life has the phrase "Carpe Diem" meant more than right now. I intend to do that from now on. In my work, in my life, with myself. It's time to stop living with what isn't in front of me and start living with everything that is. And if anybody is doubting their abilities with anything in their lives, remember that whatever change you hope will happen begins with you. Always has, always will. For me, I just hope that the changes I've been making pay off in the long run.
The last time that happened, I ended up heading home as I tried to break in with KTVU and keep my broadcasting aspirations afloat. I did a good job with that, taking a job at Friedman's for a little while before finding my spot with ThreeHouse when it was at its peak, which in turn, allowed me to get my current spot here with the Blue Jays. I honestly didn't know what to expect when I got here, but my seven months in Dunedin, as far as my career is concerned, have been some of the most fulfilling time of my life because it allowed me to become aware of what I needed to do in order to be successful. Not just in my career, which I always had my nose to the grindstone with, but just with my life in general.
The gym is no longer some place I go when I feel like it: It's another hour and a half added to my work day. It's some place I go because I've realized I don't like being this big dude anymore. I want to be able to slim down and feel good about it. I haven't felt this way about anything in my life since my senior year in high school, really, and I'm about to become as small as I was back then if things keep going well at the gym. I still have a long way to go to get where I want to with my physical self, but it seems as if my emotional side is turning a bit; where confidence and determination has replaced self-loathing and doubt. Although, as the people who I have complained to over the last few months know, it hasn't been an easy process!
To be honest, I don't know what the future holds with me here in Dunedin. I know that the Blue Jays would love to keep me around, but they also know that I want to broadcast, which has been my dream and my passion for five years now, and is something I hope becomes the fixture in my career much sooner than later. For the longest time, broadcasting has been an aside; almost a perk to my full-time employment with whoever I worked for. I've been chasing a dream, and to an extent, that dream has come true: I'm broadcasting professional baseball. Even on a small level, that's something I can be proud of (and something that goes on the resume).
Hell, I even realized a small dream last Thursday when Bright House Sports Network (what would be the equivalent of Comcast Sportsnet back in the Bay Area) had me on for a couple of innings during Dunedin's TV debut for the season when they took on Clearwater. They loved having me be a part of the broadcast and I helped out with them being prepared well for it, and I really came off looking like an asset to the program. That's all I could hope for. Now, the Blue Jays are on again this Thursday and it looks like I might get another shot to help out on the TV side of things. Perhaps this leads to something.
If there's anything anyone ever learns in life, it's that if you get any opportunity that might lead to something that you want to do, seize it. That's what I did when I went to the Baseball Winter Meetings in Vegas last December, and thankfully, it led me to this spot in my life where I am in professional sports: I'm good at what I do, and the sky is the limit. For seven years, I've worked my ass off to get to this point and I'm not about to let something get in my way. Within the next few days, I should find out what my future is with the team, and whatever is presented to me, if it's an opportunity to do something that might lead to the next big step in my life, I'll do what I've tried to do since I was an intern under Steven Serafini in sports at the I-T: I'll seize the opportunity, and I'll do everything I can to not only do the job, but add something to it so that it's my own.
Never before in my life has the phrase "Carpe Diem" meant more than right now. I intend to do that from now on. In my work, in my life, with myself. It's time to stop living with what isn't in front of me and start living with everything that is. And if anybody is doubting their abilities with anything in their lives, remember that whatever change you hope will happen begins with you. Always has, always will. For me, I just hope that the changes I've been making pay off in the long run.
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