Friday, December 19, 2008

Timmy's Guide to Las Vegas: The Abridged Version

In an effort to keep myself at least on schedule with wanting to do a farewell blog to Sonoma on Sunday night, I figured I'd go back to the Vegas trip because it was what I promised in my first blog. So, as a man of my word:



Ah, Las Vegas. Home of an economy that never dwindles, because people always have hope.

After a return to my college roots for Pete's birthday celebration, complete with Beirut (featuring a phenomenal comeback that ended in heartbreak thanks to the birthday boy) a college basketball game featuring future first-round draft pick Josh Akognon (Dear Boston Celtics: He'll be there for you. Take him.) drunken Spanglish (Orlando, you're my boy) and, of course, a trip to South Central L.A. (complete with N.W.A. on the way home; thankfully, we were on the freeway) I took a brisk three and a half hour drive to Las Vegas for a chance to get myself a job. Now that you already read the job post, here comes the fun stuff:

-Vegas is fun. No, really. It's one of those places where you have to set yourself up for failure monetarily, because everything there costs money. Big money. For four days, I set myself up to say I only want to lose $100, but that my cutoff was $200.

-Sunday: Once I arrived and did the first of the job fair, I just went back to my room at Circus Circus (cheapest place on the Strip, even if it isn't the prettiest) and watched TV and surfed the Internet after a big dinner. I didn't eat anything all day and then that dinner, a burger, fries, salad and a milkshake, does me in. Huh. So I passed out around 12 and got up early for the job fair.

-Monday: So I take the trek down the Strip and pick up Blake at the airport after the job fair. This after, of course, me missing the initial sign to go pick him up. I R smarrt. Afterwards, I kinda get lost getting back to the Strip and I end up just getting back to the freeway because it's easier that way. Not the best night for ol' Mapquest. I had been priding myself on getting around so well, too.

So I take Blake down the Strip from the beginning, starting at Mandalay Bay and making our way up north. I point out all the different places along the way, talking about the Wynn was the new big boy on the block and that they redid Planet Hollywood and it looks cool. I pointed out the greatness that was The Bellagio and then brought up The Venetian, which is cool, but not as great as The Bellagio. Then I told him about how the further you got up the Strip, you can see one of two things: open lots or hotels waiting to get knocked down (like Circus Circus). I was happy to see The Riviera still standing and that they still had the Crazy Girls statues out in front. No ass grabbing occurred, though.

After unloading at Circus Circus,we decide to walk around a bit and hit up the Riviera. First thing we did after getting our beers: We pulled the Entourage trick. For those of you who don't know, the Las Vegas episode of Entourage, one of the show's best ever, saw them get to what looked like the Tropicana (in fact, I'm sure it was, now that I think about it) and they proceed to put $100,000 on roulette to gauge how good of a time they'd have in Vegas. It kinda worked, so I was hoping to get some good mojo. So now, I decide to do the same, taking $60 and putting it on black. Wouldn't you know it...that magical metal ball dropped on black and I got me an instant double-up! After mixing up roulette chips for regular chips (Yeah, I had never played before. So what?) I took my winnings and decided we needed to eat. Enter the Circus Circus buffet.

Now, Vegas buffets are legendary. Everything from the seafood buffets at places like the Wynn and Caesar's to the legendary "Best $1.49 buffet in town" that you saw in the classic movie, "Vegas Vacation." Now, this was probably lower than the middle, but it was still pretty good. For $14, I had a bunch of everything: Salad, pasta, prime rib, Chinese food, chicken strips...you name it, it was probably there. After filling myself up to the point where I just couldn't take much more, Blake and I decided to go exploring Circus Circus. There was some decent stuff, but nothing too crazy. No circus stuff going on. They had a huge trapeze net, but nobody trapezing. I eventually made my way to the poker room to play a little bit, and I turned $100 into $130 or so, but not before some drunk jackass came in and disrupted all our play. Even the poker room manager asked me as I was leaving if I was going because of him. I told him that he did have a little bit to do with it, but Blake was also antsy, so I decided to end it a bit early. We then just headed up to the room because we didn't feel like getting down to the main part of the Strip just yet, and also because I needed to be at the job fair at 9 a.m. so that I could figure out when to talk to Mike about the job.

-Tuesday: A bit better day for the both of us, as we decide to just go all out and head for the main part of the Strip. First stop on the list, though, was Fatburger. Now, there are Fatburgers in the bay area (E-40 has money in the one that just recently got shut down in Pleasant Hill) but this is the first one I've ever been to. For me? Awesome. I don't like relish so I got the King Burger without it and steak fries. It was awesome. Still doesn't touch some of the other burgers I've had the last few months (Maddy, make me that gorgonzola filled truffle burger again for me, just once, all I ask!) but it's a great little joint. I look forward to my next visit.

Now for the casinos. We started at Paris, walking around it a bit but not really playing, deciding instead to head for Planet Hollywood. I decided to hit up the poker room, and I was doing okay until I went all in on top two pair against the nuts for a straight. When he turned over suited 4-2 for The Wheel, I about sunk myself. Mainly because I should have seen it coming (check option from big blind for him) and it showed my immaturity at the poker table. I've figured out I need to play more live poker. I have the skills, I just need to hone them.

Anyways, we leave Planet Hollywood and decide to cross the street because it's time for THE BELLAGIO! Yes, my friends, it's the best casino on the Strip. One of the main reasons? It's unbelievable fountain show that runs every half hour or so. You've seen it in "Ocean's Eleven" and what not. Really cool to watch and you can't miss it if you're walking down the Strip. Check it out already. Like right now.

The Bellagio casino is nice. VERY nice. Got there and it was crawling with MLB executives at the Baccarat Bar, and after I finally found Mike and a couple of his co-workers, we try to find a place to drink a bit. After going to one bar with $20 mixed drinks (Yeah, not gonna happen) we decide to go to a different bar with more reasonably priced drinks, for Vegas. So we drink a while, and Mike and I and Blake all start catching up while the girls talk amongst themselves. Then, another friend of Mike's, Jay, who works with the Blue Jays, came along and we decided that since the Bellagio was too crowded, that we head for The Venetian and play some craps.

I like the Venetian, but it's not the Bellagio. It just isn't. We had fun playing craps, as the waitress who brought us the free drinks had these big balloons implanted in her chest. Seriously, it was if she was two steps away from leaving the cocktail waitress job and heading down the road to work at Scores or something. That is, if they have one in Vegas. I would assume so. It's Las Vegas. If they have those clubs in New York and Los Angeles, I'm sure they have one in Vegas. (Blogger's Note: It was in New York. In fact, Wikipedia said that they had to shut it all down due to financial concerns. Too bad. I bet it was nice.) Anyways, after losing some money and watching Mike win some, we decided to head back to Paris, where we started, and it was then that we decided to call it a night. Probably for the best. It was 1:30 and I needed to wake up for the final day of the Job Fair.

-Wednesday: Wednesday was my favorite day. Mainly because I got my job, and then after that, Blake and I celebrated with pancakes. Because before we went on the trip, Blake said, "If you get a job, we're going to celebrate with pancakes." Simple, but effective. It was called Blueberry Hill, the restaurant. I was talking to my dad and my cousin after I started making calls to everybody about the job, so the pancakes had to wait a sec, but eventually, I got my potato pancakes (They weren't called latkes on the menu, funny enough) and I enjoyed my victory meal. It tasted like...well, victory, really. After that, we headed back to Circus, Circus for a bit and watched some TV after grabbing a few victory Foster's big cans. After that, we just kinda laid around and power napped, and with good reason, because tonight....WE CELEBRATE.

It started at the Wynn. We got there, played a little craps, and then when we looked for a place to get a drink, we found the sports book. Now, let's just say this. The Wynn sports book is...for lack of a better term, awesome. The bar right next to it sits you right under all these television sets, about nine of them or so, and then from there, it's time to grab a drink, sit in the alligator skinned chairs (No, I'm not joking) and enjoy. We sat there for about an hour or so and just soaked it all in. It was glorious. Afterwards, we toured around The Palazzo and The Venetian, getting dinner at the food court. It was from there that we made our move across the street because we had to get our Clark Griswold on.

The Mirage was the staple of the expansion of Las Vegas northward about 20 years ago. It was designed by Steve Wynn, who ended up with a casino named after him. While there were casinos north of The Mirage that were old and really played to the older crowd, it was one of the first resorts that really tried to bring people in for more than just the gambling and lounge shows. Polynesian themed and all, it was one of the brighter spots for travelers in the 90's, so much that it got the Hollywood treatment when "Vegas Vacation" was filmed there.

Anyways, when we got in, it was packed full of people who were in town for the PBAR National finals, the biggest rodeo of the year. It was down at the Thomas & Mack Center, but people up and down the strip were packing restaurants and sports books to watch the action, and The Mirage was no different. Blake and I chilled out for a bit, but we got restless and decided to move on, with Caesar's right across the street.

I had never been to Caesar's before, but I liked what I saw. It had been revamped a bit over the years, but it had a neat layout and I really liked the little areas we went to. Great sports book, great little bars, and a lot of cool shops. Didn't go into any of them, but they looked nice. The Winter Meetings Gala was going on there, but it was $125 for a ticket, I believe. Considering how much I put in to get there, man, I wasn't about to fork over that much for a gala event when I wanted to have fun on my last night in Vegas. So we went to The Bellagio again, only this time, cool things happened.

First off, I decided that although I was down $100 (remember, I gave myself a $200 limit) I would take out $100 more because I wanted to play in The Bellagio Poker Room, where some of the best poker players today would go. In fact, there's a private room set up for this big time cash game that included players like Doyle Brunson, Howard Lederer and Jennifer Harmon, to name a few. When I finally sat down to play, I could turn to my right and Doyle was right there. It was a major trip.

Before that happened, though, Blake decided he wanted to roll craps. He took $60 out, and before my eyes, he turned it in $150 or so in about an hour. That ain't bad at all. So after a couple bad rolls, he pulled out, and I told him I needed to at least go play some poker before we left. So I sat down and played a bit, staying even, but not really getting too far up or too far down. Then, I saw Blake looking through one of the room windows, chips in hand, and I saw two black chips. $100 each. That and a handful of others. That dude had turned his $60 into about $280. I wanted to strangle him. Or at least try and take his money.

After that, we went back over to the table where he was playing and tried to see what else he could do, but after some bad rolls, he pulled out and ended up with about $190, which is still 3x more than what he came in with and still awesome. When we cashed out, I saw Damon Jones and one of his friends trying to talk to one of the cashier girls, while we were all waiting to cash out. Nice work, Damon. You were relevant for all of four months in the NBA and now you're holding us all up. Jerk. Actually, dude's a good guy. We just wanted to move on to the next casino already!

That next casino was Paris, as it was right across the street and we had no intentions of going way down the strip. Blake then made the mistake of playing with that money he had won. It slowly started slipping away. I had lost my money playing poker (Went all in with open ended straight and flush draws before bowing out) so I was watching from the side. Meanwhile, the dice just weren't rolling. Soon, the money was gone.

When we got back to the Wynn where my car was parked, he decided to pull out $60 more and try and see if he couldn't get one more run, but it just didn't happen. So we cut our losses and bailed out, tails tucked between our legs. We went to The Hilton because Mike needed me to keep a bag for him since he couldn't take it on the plane and because we'd be seeing each other soon enough, so I did that and talked with him a while. So after all that, at around 2:30 a.m., Vegas was officially done for us. We headed to the hotel to pass out and we were done at around 3.

The drive home was pretty fast, but my feet developed these blisters on the back of my heels because of the fact that I was breaking in new dress shoes. It was in the worst possible spot on my feet. The driving part was okay, and finding a Sonic in Tehachapi (Random as all hell) was a good way to get ready for the long drive home. I arrived home around 9 p.m., excited and ready for my new adventure.

Happy New Year's, everyone! Next up, a good-bye to Sonoma (hopefully by Sunday as promised) and a review of my road trip!

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